Comfort

Through a difficult week for many friends over the loss of a dear mother, friend and Warrior. She's blazed a trail for many mothers many years ago, having a career as a nurse, then getting married later, only to really enjoy having seven kids and raising them well. Her daughter blogs about her in a tribute. 

In the same week, there was a terrible accident at the high school I attended, where a teen girl was killed and another girl seriously injured.

The loss of those two beautiful women is striking and severe. We all must face loss in our life. We might not lose our mother or our friend or our daughter, but every day we must confront our own mortality and limitations.  

Grief isn't just over great loss, it can be experienced every single day.  We might see them as frustrations or disappointments. But they are losses. The kids break the radio. The meat you took out for dinner is bad. School is delayed two hours again. Our friend let us down. The struggles we face might seem simple in light of a greater loss, but we still have to ask   How do we move through grief?

Every person has their own way through; and if you are currently experiences, I pray you will find your way through the comforts of Christ. But you will have your own time, methods, pace, momentum and stalling. That is why I love poetry; because it is always a reflection of someone else's process. It reassures me that I am not alone in my experience, nor am I supposed to make it look a certain way.

Speak low to me, my Saviour, low and sweet

From out the hallelujahs, sweet and low

Lest I should fear and fall, and miss Thee so

Who art not missed by any that entreat.

Speak to me as to Mary at thy feet!

And if no precious gems my hands bestow,

Let my tears drop like amber while I go

In reach of thy divinest voice complete

In humanest affection -- thus, in sooth,

To lose the sense of losing. As a child,

Whose song-bird seeks the wood for evermore

Is sung to in its stead by mother's mouth

Till, sinking on her breast, love-reconciled,

He sleeps the faster that he wept before. 

Elizabeth Barrett Browning

There is a way through, one where you reach a place of rest from your sorrows and disappointments. There will be a time when we will "lose our sense of losing." A small psalm understands the smallness we feel when we grieve: Psalm 131 gives us a simple image: that of a resting child.

O Lord, my heart is not lifted up;

my eyes are not raised too high;

I do not occupy myself with things

too great and too marvelous for me.

But I have calmed and quieted my soul,

like a weaned child with its mother;

like a weaned child is my soul within me.

O Israel, hope in the Lord

from this time forth and forevermore.

As Browning writes, there will be a time when we will have sweet rest faster than the tears come down so quickly.

Underneath it all

I am always asking the "why" questions? As I have been blogging over the past few days, I have gone with my gut on the overall principles of the Bible on communication. This morning as I read Oswald Chambers, I was led to a verse I think really illustrates what I have expressed.

  "  If anyone's will is to do God's will, he will know whether the teaching is from God or whether I am speaking on my own authority. The one who speaks on his own authority seeks his own glory; but the one who seeks the glory of him who sent him is true, and in him there is no falsehood.  " 
(John 7:17-18 ESV, emphasis mine)

As we think about both developing and communicating our passions as well as exemplifying a gospel-oriented heart, Jesus gives us words to use.

Blogging isn't wrong. Pintrest isn't bragging. Facebook isn't just voyeurism. Social media and digital communication can be used for good. There are so many ways to use it for good. What I have been speaking about is to develop your own conscience about communication.

Jesus encourages us to differentiate between seeking our own glory and God's glory. He also makes it clear that there is danger in speaking with misplaced self-authority. I think we can avoid falsehood as the trap of digital communication, while still communicating the beauty we find in our lives with the world.

What are your guiding principles for using social media and digital communication as a part of your life? What are the traps of it for you, reader?

Absence

When I thought about blogging over the past six months, I must admit, I cringed.

It seemed like just another thing to do.

And the glory seemed to have passed. I mean, let's admit, it's not like there isn't a hundred of avenues of digital media to attend to.We have Pintrest, we have Facebook, we have Twitter, we have photo-sharing, among other things. There are so many ways to share. I mean, I have been doing this for seven years now.

So what's the point? No, absence doesn't just make the heart grow fonder. I have come back to blog because I believe in it.

Why? It is the why that brings me back.  Communication for the Christian is a core value to community. If we stop communicating, we stop connecting.

The reasons I have not blogged have been numerous-- computer problems, crises, travel, children-- but ultimately, I have shied away from blogging is the atmosphere of boasting. In our modern age, communication through digital media can become shameless self-promotion. Especially, I find, among Christian women. We blog about our seemingly wonderful life, we post pictures of our perfect home projects, we share digitally-enhanced photos of our babies, we link to recipes that make us look healthier than we really are, and promote our opinions in fields where we have limited scope of knowledge. It started to disgust me.

I say, yes, let's share. I want to blog. I want to post cute pictures. I love Martha Stewart projects. I want to Tweet pithy statements. I love spying on old friends through Facebook.

But in order for me to do something I must know why. I have to define why I do something. Communication for me must have a purpose-- "building one another up". Also, I have to be honest about myself. I have been draw back to blogging by reading secular blogs by people who don't hide their true selves in the process of writing. Let's not hide our true selves by projecting a perfect image. Christians know, of anyone, that we are not perfect.

I want to blog not because I want to boast about my perfections; I want to draw people into my real life. I want to communicate Who makes my life meaningful and gives me purpose. In the absence of God, digital communication can start to look like a Pintrest of glossy ideals that don't reflect the desperate woman that I am for God to help me get out of my workout clothes and speak kind words to my children.

So, if anyone is still following, I hope you'll read.

Sufficient.

Things were very different six years ago.

People used to say, "What's a blog?" when I moved to Arizona and started writing online. What I said was very popular for a while. Because not too many people were blogging.

Then came the kids. Written communication takes time to craft. When you have two kids two years apart, you don't have much time. Even nap times become less reliable sources of "free time" because your chances of being uninterrupted are reduced exponentially by a boy, a girl and a dog.

So, instead of twenty posts a month, I am down to four or five.


I feel this issue has two sides: the essence of relationship and the essential nature of information. Electronic information is not going away. It is becoming more essential every day. But, I have begun to feel this pull in the opposite direction at the same time as the blog world, the information age and the electronic overload exist. I feel the need for real. Not a Tweet. Not a status update. Not a text. Real people. Real conversations. Real topics. I just always want to remember the purpose for communication is building. Information means nothing to me if it does not build something or someone.

Martin Luther is quoted for saying, "If one wants to change the world, he must pick up his pen". I too believe in communication.

I also believe communication must be balanced with silence.

So I write less. I post a few pictures for my grandmother. I am busy with life, the real parts. I try to build reality even if it is with my scrub brush and bleach. I aim to strengthen the relationships around me.

I could feel guilty in this age of information--but in the end it doesn't matter how many blogs I follow, or if I know the world news everyday, or I haven't learned the latest free coupon+sale price. I remember to keep building and that is sufficient.

Sehnsucht

Read this blog.
I just finished reading her book, and it has won my heart with its poetry and prose, the content and the disclosure. She is an amazing gift herself as a writer and a champion of true Christian joy in life.
Ever heard of sehnsucht? It is a word that describes a deep longing, a mania, a true yearning--and I ran across this word in both her writing and Tim Keller's book, Prodigal God. As I finished both of these books this week I was so excited to read how they both use this German word to describe our need to fill our longings with that which is eternal. Ann though gives us a great way to begin living that way, by giving thanks. So I too, along with a body of believers, am looking for God's blessings in each and every moment, both beautiful and ugly, and trying to see it as a reflection of His goodness.

He is discipling me?

I read a great quote in Timothy Keller's book Prodigal God that reminded me that the point of knowing Jesus is becoming more like him. I have heard this before, but as I thought about it again, I applied it to my current greatest challenge-- mothering--and it shed new light on the Christian walk for me.

It occurred to me, "What if the whole point of mothering--the training, disciplining, correcting, and instructing-- is really to make me more like Christ?" Of course I have understood sanctification through my circumstances in the past, but it suddenly came to light for me. As a mother, the endless times I am instructing, I am being taught to be like Christ. The countless times of disciplining, I am being disciplined myself in righteousness. The repetition of my words is working in me faith. The endless conversation with my kids is the word of God being worked into me.

It might not be new. But it was realized in a fresh way to me. The job of motherhood, especially to little ones, can be very wearying. There is usually less than one hour a day where someone is not crying or needing me. The joy in this life though is that this is the current circumstance which is drawing me closer to God, making me love Him more, and it is teaching me to be more Christ-like.

And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another.~ 2 Corinthians 3:18

The rare and amazing

A quiet morning where Kate sleeps in. It has happened less times than I can count on one hand. But standing here read, fed, dressed, with make-up and hair done, and counters clean and dinner started, gives me a quiet, sobering whisper in my heart: "Wouldn't you be so self-sufficient, Nora, if it was like this all the time?"
Truth is that my little girl's early morning habits keep me desperate. I would be living the charade of a perfect wife and mother if I had all that time to myself. So as much as I relish the unexpected blessing this morning, I also give thanks for the mercy of God to give me an early riser.
And there she is...7:05am. You might be laughing at this "late" hour but since most mornings it is ten to six, it feels like a luxurious morning already.

Secrets

I have a little secret.

I say little prayers.

Mostly, this is inspired by my mother, who always prays for a parking spot. If any of you have been to Montgomery Mall in Maryland, you know this is a neccesity. The spots are few and far between if you want to be near the Nordstom's entrance, which is the most convenient one in inclement weather.

Then I read The Praying Life. He has a whole chapter on praying over life's littlest things.
As a mom, I could identify over the silent prayers issued when your little one goes to pour milk.
My faith has been renewed reading about those little moments God sees fit to listen to. I have been aware of how much He does listen as he answers little prayers. I beleive it is a result of praying more (because we know He hears us) and watching more for how He will answer.

On Sunday night, I was trying my best to keep my house clean and not make too much of a mess coming upon this busy work week. I hadn't made any definite plan for dinner. Then Travis and I got to talking. At one point in our conversation, I looked up at the clock from my cozy seat and realized it was quickly heading towards five o'clock. I just couldn't muster the energy at that point to deal with it. I prayed, "Lord, help me with dinner."

And then our door bell rings.

Our sweet neighbor, Hayley, was at the door. She said her mom made too much pot roast and was wondering if we wanted some.

Dinner.
Provided for.
He certainly does hear the littlest prayers.

Flourish

We had a wonderful women's breakfast at church--my highlight was the message by Tiffany R. on "Flourishing", based on the new theme of our group. She spoke from Moses' Psalm 90. When we read this Psalm, Moses gives us a strong vision of our mortality. He says that our lives are like grass that perish. Tiffany pointed out though that the Psalm does just say that we die. She spoke about the ability of grass to survive devastation. She reminded us of how grasslands survive even the worst of fires. The roots of grass are almost indestructible-- they live below the surface of the soil and can survive the heat of a fire and flood. She reminded us that we are to be renewed like grass every day. It isn't just about death-- it is also a reminder of how God renews us every day. Grass reminds us that our spirits are not destroyed by our difficulties and that He sustains our growth constantly.

3 You return man to dust and say, “Return, O children of man!”
4 For a thousand years in your sight are but as yesterday when it is past, or as a watch in the night.

5 You sweep them away as with a flood; they are like a dream,
like grass that is renewed in the morning:
6 in the morning it flourishes and is renewed;
in the evening it fades and withers.

If you would like to learn more about grass, watch here.

Post-Christmas Thoughts: Part Whatever

As I finish up Isaiah, I was struck by how much it has fed my encouragement. Being more of one to poke fun and criticize, I am glad that it has helped me to focus on how I can encourage others with the promises of God. This morning I was especially struck by the need to encourage my single family and friends. In the process of waiting for a spouse, I know it can feel hopeless. I was struck by these two verses that bring hope.

First, a message of hope from chapter 60:9:

For the coastlands shall hope for me, the ships of Tarshish first, to bring your children from afar, their silver and gold with them, for the name of the Lord your God, and for the Holy One of Israel, because he has made you beautiful.

Just remember that God has made you beautiful and can bring you a spouse from afar.
Lastly, to remind you that God is actively working on your behalf, from chapter 62:12

And they shall be called The Holy People,The Redeemed of the Lord; and you shall be called Sought Out, A City Not Forsaken.

Christmas Thought: Success

11 so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it.

Travis and I have had many discussions lately about success. One of the reasons has been our celebration of Travis' sucess this year in his job. He has kept a job in the same company for a year now AND done well, getting recognized and promoted for his efforts. This was not the case for the first couple years of our marriage-- he held a series of jobs that were poor fits and with less well run companies. His has been a long path to get on the road to success. It is paved with none less than his blood, sweat and tears. And Travis and I agree that there is still a road ahead of us. As you celebrate this Christmas season, we remember that God is always successful with his purposes and plans.

---don't you love Isaiah and how many promises are found in it??

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Christmas Thoughts: Part 6-- Making Room

Isaiah 54:2 “Enlarge the place of your tent, and let the curtains of your habitations be stretched out; do not hold back; lengthen your cords and strengthen your stakes."

When I moved to Arizona four years ago, this was a crucial promise for me. The Lord spoke through this verse as I struggled with the difficulties of moving, getting married, adjusting to a new church and family, and, ultimately, the growth process. It was a stripping process. It was painful at times. But ultimately it was about making room. Instead of accepting the status quo and the comfort of what I already knew, God was enlarging my heart and my life.

At times when we feel crowded by life's responsibilities, it can be easy to hold back in our lives. We are afraid, we are uncomfortable and we would rather have our security. God is not about fear. He is not uncomfortable with His purposes. And he promises that "The Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer" vs 5.

As you look at this Christmas season, how are you making room in your life for Christ? As you look at the new year filled with anticipation-- or are you filled with fear? God wants us to prepare our hearts for his plan-- which usually involves stretching growth. Make room for Him!

I know God is preparing my heart for the stretching (literally) of adding another child. And instead of getting caught up in the "How am I going to's??!", I want to prepare my heart to make room first for Christ, who is a good Maker! I would love to continue to remember that God has always been faithful--

my steadfast love shall not depart from you, and my covenant of peace shall not be removed,” says the Lord, who has compassion on you. 54: 10

He brought me through that inital season and he will be faithful again, no matter how crowded I feel by my life's responsibilities and difficulties.

Christmas Thoughts: Part 5

Isaiah 52:1 Awake, awake, put on your strength, O Zion; put on your beautiful garments, O Jerusalem, the holy city

For some reason this verse helped me this morning as I was battling back tears about my father's depression. It reminds me that God will indeed clothe us with his righteousness despite our wayward weakness. It reminds me simply to put on Christ in this Christmas season. There is hope in the city of God for his chosen ones. And that day there will be no more sorrows--for indeed he has "borne our sorrows" yet given us the promise and hope of everlasting and joyful life with Him.

Thought Four- A Prayer

This morning I was struck by the possible loneliness some might feel during the holidays. Whether it be from physical distance or separation or depression, it is possible that we can feel like the Israelites. They were longing for their coming Savior, but the wait was filled with hundreds of years of physical suffering, emotional separation and sinful wandering. God has words for each us in the Christmas season--and He speaks comfort for all who feel alone:

For the Lord comforts Zion; he comforts all her waste places and makes her wilderness like Eden, her desert like the garden of the Lord;joy and gladness will be found in her, thanksgiving and the voice of song.

In winter there is a deadness about the world-- yet, just as there seems to be nothing beautiful, there are still roots in the ground resting for a coming spring. LOur hope is delayed but our Savior has come once and will come again.

Christmas Thoughts, Part Three

This morning's theme is "The Profit of Godly Labor"--sounds good, right? As I read in Isaiah 48 and 49 I was provoked by 49 vs four's question:

"But I said, I have lavoured in vain. I have spent my strength for nothing and
vanity!"

Yesterday was a difficult day for me. Anytime I stay up late I am exhausted by a normal day's activities. Kate woke up sick, so there was the added burden of caring for her abnormal fussiness. At the end of yesterday, and other days just like it, I am tempted to feel like, "What's the point??" Thoughts run through my head like my floors are still dirty, my kitchen is dirtier, and I really wanted to have enough energy for my husband!

In this Christmas season, I want to remember the strength of God's redeeming purposes for those days and moments by applying this answer found in chapter 48 vs. 17:

"Thus says the Lord, Your Redeemer the Holy One of Israel. I am the Lord your God who teaches you to profit, who leads you in the way you should go"

The ESV study bible says "The servant confesses his sense of failure due to Israel's poor response yet the servant does not turn from God in cynical unbelief. He accepts emotional suffering and frustrating toil with confidence that God will reward him."

In this season, I want to encourage my own soul with the promise that the Lord teaches us to profit from every effort and labor that we undertake in His name.

Christmas Thought Two

Isaiah 46: 9 "for I am God, and there is no other, declaring the end from the beginning and from ancient times things not yet done."

This morning I am reminded by this verse of waiting. I think we all have experienced waiting for events or things to begin or end. This year I am freshly aware of how God has beginnings and ends for all things according to His good will. I always just wanted the process to be over and to get the result. Those years I was "house-less" and "child-less" and "spouse-less" are over. I have a wonderful husband, a funny daughter and one child on the way, and a beautiful home. The lessons the Lord taught me in those seasons were truths to LIVE. He taught me that patience isn't about just waiting until you get what you want or think you deserve-- it is about accepting what He gives, when He gives it. The delay was always Him waiting to provide something better, richer or fuller. As we celebrate Christmas, let us wait on Christ. Let us wait for His goodness, His richness and His fullness, not just the gifts He gives His children.

Christmas Thoughts- Part 1

I am reading through Isaiah in preparation for Christmas and wanted to encourage everyone with twelve days...errr, ten...daily meditations. Today I was encouraged by these words:

Isaiah 45:24 “Only in the Lord, it shall be said of me,are righteousness
and strength"

As we all prepare our homes, our tables, and our families for the holidays, we must also prepare our hearts with the strength of his promises. Let us remember that it is only in the Lord that we find all our righteousness--that we deserving nothing and yet we have received everything--as well as all of our strength--which is especially important as we make the final push in the next ten days.

thisisnext#

1998.
I'm eighteen.
Josh Harris has this conference called "New Attitude".
I go. I meet people. It's the best thing ever.
Now it lives on as "next".
My sister sends me a video text with Riley playing worship.
I'm a little jealous, I must admit.
It all comes back to me.
The butterflies in your stomach, the dimmed lights, the band music swells.
All I can say is that I knew John Riley way before and that we sat on a slouchy couch in Philadelphia and he played his guitar and sang right next to me. Let's just say he is way better than any Chris Allen.
Don't you miss that part of your life sometimes? The drama, the intrigues, the girls, the boys.
It was so much fun.
A little part of me still thinks I'm not that old to be so far away from that scene.
But reality states my little brother who is ten years younger went this year for the first time.
And then I crawl into bed next to my husband's warm body and think, this is better.

The envy factor is over. Beautiful winter and spring moments are two months behind us. No more sunny and seventy. We have already seen one hundred degrees ten times or more. What time we spend outside is mostly in the pool but no matter what, we try to get out a little before the real heat sets in. Even the green haze over our dry earth has shriveled up and blown away. It isn't about damp cooler evenings in June here; it is shiver of cold air-conditioning after your afternoon dip in the pool. I enjoy this part of our early summer. It is the months ahead that I try to ignore- the endless amounts of radiating pavement, the hot wind, and the dust storms. This week we have had a welcome relief of two rainy and cloudy days. Those are rare indeed and it reminds me that I do love dry heat, not the humid pressure of moistness I grew up breathing. The rain brings a purity and sweetness to the air, sending earth's fragrances into the air. I miss those smells of moisture-- cut grass, rain, wet pavement, and mulch.
I cannot wait to reinvent them in my own backyard.

Provision

Our home is in need of a few upgrades and basics. First, we pursued getting some appliances off Craigslist. The guy turned out to sell us a stainless steel fridge, stove and microwave for less than the price of a fridge itself! Then, today Travis and I took Kate to a local mega-store shopping center to compare some kitchen tables. We walked into World Market and found the exact table that the Nam's have as a floor model clearance. It was less than the price of the ones I had been seeing on Craigslist! We have all the chairs we need-- we just lacked a solid table that can hold all our friends and us around it! It was an answer to prayer as we both feel that the heart of a home is around the table...what can we say but that we love to eat and make other people food. We can't wait to host our friends and family around it.