Lean In and Watch.

 

Give ear to my words, O LORD; consider my groaning.
Give attention to the sound of my cry, my King and my God, for to you do I pray
O Lord, in the morning you hear my voice; in the morning I prepare a sacrifice for you and watch.
Psalm 5:1-3

I remember reading Psalm 1 as a child, memorizing the words as I rode in the backseat on the way to school with Jon Ward and his brothers. As I grew up, I would read it again, and then skim over the next 22 Psalms until I got to Psalm 23. I just didn't understand what all that groaning and crying was about.

Now I get it what those Psalms about pain were saying in between those two bookends of Christian prose. Life has a way of educating you about pain quickly.

Have you ever waited for something that you really wanted? Do you ever long for that thing to change? Are you on the edge of your soul, desperate for it to happen?

I am. As a wife and a mother, I am not only want things for myself, but there are those around me I am praying for that God would answer as well.  Another translation for that phrase "prepare a sacrifice for you and watch" i s "direct our prayer to you." In the HCSB Study Bible, it says, "at daybreak I plead my case to You and watch expectantly." 

When I really want something I don't have (and I am not just talking about wanting this beautiful new couch), I have to remind myself of two truths:

First, God listens.

Second, I must lean in and watch expectantly.

I know that Cheryl Sandberg says that women need to lean in more to their careers and stop opting out too soon. I would say the same is true for our faith as women. God wants us to remember that He hears our needs, our groanings too deep for words, as well as our wants. It's not wrong to be ambitious and want things. We just have to ask and then be willing to watch.

I too have to keep my eyes open while I watch. I have to watch for small moments of gentleness in my daughter, and then praise her for it, and not forget it in the moments when she is wild and crazy. I have to watch for the sweetness in our marriage, and thank my husband for his love. I have to watch for "God-sightings" (as my kids are learning in VBS this week) in my career as I desire to work again.

We have to watch. Sometimes, we get so fixed and focused on the mundane, the minutiae of life, that we forget to prepare, pray and then watch with our eyes opened. I pray God will give you the eyes to see His love at work.